How to be ok with your Anger…
We live in a society that pressures us to think positive every time. In fact, even articles on this website talk about the importance of positive thinking. Don’t get me wrong, positive thinking is great and can lead to a happier and more fulfilled life, but what about those pesky negative emotions that tend to come up from time to time?
Do we squash and ignore them with positive thinking? Do we feel guilty and ashamed for thinking negative?
If you resonated with those questions, chances are you are not alone. Today, we are often made to feel guilty or “less than” if we are experiencing or entertaining negative thoughts. Even in the spiritual community our negative thoughts can be chalked up to our ego, which can simply be released with a couple of conscious breaths….right?
Well, I am here to tell you that doesn’t always work.
Anger, pain and negative thinking are all necessary and important emotions that need to be valued and sometimes, need more attention than just a few deep breaths (although those can always help). Anger, pain and negative thinking help us to express who we are and allow us to actually have a healthier state of mind. (I’ll explain more on this later.)
In fact, one of my favourite quotes by Anita Moorjani goes –
“It is more important to be yourself than it is to be positive.”
Many researchers believe that negative thinking is a sign of a healthier mind, as it is the way the body protects itself and alerts us to the fact that something is wrong. Often when we feel anger, or depressed, it is our body’s way of letting us know that something is not right and something needs to be fixed. Often when negative emotions are suppressed and covered with a smile, we create more resistance and push our negative emotions deeper within our body. In time, this causes more stress, more anxiety and prolonged feelings of depression.
While you never want negative emotions to float around all the time, when they do come up it is really important to acknowledge and love them for what they are. It is also really important to listen to them and try to understand what your mind, body and soul may be trying to communicate to you. In fact, think of all your emotions as the way that your entire being communicates with you. Think of your emotions as your compass for how to navigate through this life and make changes or adjustments.
Often when we feel anger or other negative emotions, it is usually because on a deeper level we are feeling pain. It is easier to feel anger and other surface emotions instead of pain, which is why we sometimes journey into those emotions and stay there. Only until the pain is truly released can we be free of the anger and negative thinking. And we can only do this when we learn how to feel ok with our anger and other negative emotions.
You can achieve this by –
Not being afraid of your negative thoughts and understanding that the Universe is not going to punish you for having them.
Using negative thoughts as a reminder or sign that something is not right with your body, mind or soul and that something may need to be addressed.
Accepting your negative emotions and allowing yourself to feel them without shame or guilt.
Understanding that your negative emotions are not about you or other people, and is instead tied to a situation.
Owning your negative thoughts, but then also owning the fact that you need to do something about them.
Wallowing in your own negativity is ok for a short period, but if you don’t start to shift the energy and work on healing yourself, it is just going to lead you to feeling more miserable. One of the most powerful ways you can cut through your anger and negativity is to sit in it and allow yourself to really, really feel it with no resistance. When you do this, you give yourself the opportunity to identify where it is coming from and how you can go about making some changes.
Another effective tool is to ask yourself ‘What I feeling hurt about?’ As often under negative emotions there is always some type of pain.
And finally, the golden rule for dealing with negativity is asking yourself –
‘If I loved myself what would I do in this situation?
Forever Conscious was started by Tanaaz Chubb and Dr. Wei Chao as an effort to promote holistic healing and the connection between mind, body and spirit.